I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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