wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize