Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
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