I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
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