My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
