Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
