Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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