you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I had to cum in my sink.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
