remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Randomize
