Have you finally orgasmed yet?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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