This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
