When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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