drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
