is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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