Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
