Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
