That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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