I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
