He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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