He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
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So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
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Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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