A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
