I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
did you just send me my own nude
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
