Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
