Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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