Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
