Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
