guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
