You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
