walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
