Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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