how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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