3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
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