No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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