Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
