That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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