Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Randomize
