i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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