Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
