I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I wear drunk well.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
