remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
