Kiss
Puke
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
