Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
