You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
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wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
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"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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