two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I am naked and annoyed.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
