I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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