i barfeds in our rink
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize