You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
