I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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