Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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