Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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