I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
