It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
