Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
