I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
