your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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