Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
