as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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