I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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