She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
