Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
