Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
