Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
