We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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