So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
