Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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