Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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