don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
